Last Day. Will You Remember?

I finally made it to the last day of this list. I’m glad, but I miss talking about myself…that sounded bad. Eh, oh well.

Today I’m going to list 10 things I want to be remembered for. It’ll be hard but here goes.

1. My Kindness

I know I mostly come off as an asshole on here, but it’s a place for me to vent. This is my angry side most of the time. If you were to come to my town and ask people that I work with what I’m like, they will tell you how kind I am. I try to be as nice as possible to people. You never really know when someone is having a shitty day or needs someone to talk to. I try to be the person you go to if you need a hug or a shoulder. I like that about myself.

2. My Passion

I want to be remembered for how passionate I was for the things I loved doing. I want to be known for my writing and how I put my soul into it. Hopefully I can get there. Seems to be one of the easiest tasks on this list.

3. My Humor

I think I’m funny. I know people laugh at most of the things I say. I like to make people smile and laugh at stupid situations they get mad over. Jesse hates it sometimes. He’s funny when he’s flustered.

4. My Wittiness

Didn’t think that was a work, but not little red lines under it so yeah! I’m a smartass. Hopefully one of the best out there ( I like to think anyway).

5. My Intelligence

I have knowledge on the weirdest things. Sometimes I catch myself reading up on the origin of Santa Claus or the migratory patterns of jellyfish. Don’t ask me why. I find it interesting.

6. Being a Good Role Model

My nieces are my life. I love them like they were my own. I don’t want someone coming around and screwing with how they grow up. I want a lot of things for them as they get older and I hope I am one of the main reasons they become wonderful people.

7. Hard Work

I will be the first to admit that I do A TON of shit for other people and get no recognition. I’m not talking about little things. I mean, when I help you get back up on your feet or assist you during an extremely difficult time in you life and continue to raise you back up. I’ve helped a lot of people in my life, and the only thing I have to show for it is nothing. Those people have stopped talking to me. They have taken advantage of my kindness. All I’m asking for is don’t slander me. Tell people who helped you get to where you are today.

8. My Strange Style

When I have enough money, I will not dress in t-shirts and jeans every day. I want to wear flowy dresses and slip ons. I want to wear nice gothic clothes one day and the next…a summer dress!

9. My “Religion”

I am an atheist. I am also a pagan. Don’t think the two can mix? Try me.

10. My Love

When I love someone, I do it with all my heart. It’s gotten me into a lot of trouble throughout the years. I’m not talking about just romantic love, but for friends and family. I’ve gotten into a lot of trouble throughout the years because I loved too much or the wrong people. It hurts being betrayed or thrown away like you’re nothing. But that is a dangerous thing about love. It’s a hit or miss. There are special places in my heart for every person I know. I value every friend I have because I know what it’s like to lose something so precious. I think this is the main thing I want to be remembered for is how, no matter who they are, I love my friends. I love my family. I love Jesse most. No one can take his place.


Don’t Get Me? Don’t Care

Most of the time I’m an okay person to get along with. I will admit that there are times when I meet someone and I really don’t want anything to do with them. Call it a hunch, but most times they aren’t worth being around. I try to be nice all the time, no seriously. I don’t want people to start being assholes to me when I first meet them so I try not to do it to them. Sometimes the person is just misunderstood and it takes time to get to know them. The same goes for me. A lot of the time, people judge me before they know me. I come off as mean and intimidating. I understand why, but I really don’t want people to come off hating me when first meeting me. Another thing I like to do with management is play dumb. I think that is the biggest thing people misunderstand about me. I play stupid so people in higher positions don’t catch on to what I really know. I can’t help it. It’s something completely beyond my control. I caught myself doing it one time and realized that it’s an instinct to lower myself so they don’t realize how smart I actually am. Then out of nowhere I can be all “Pow! Thought I didn’t know! Fuck you!” and I get great feelings from it. I know it makes me look bad, but hey, I’m not perfect.

My What Language?

The question for the day is: What is your love language? I honestly had to Google that to figure out what the hell it meant. Apparently, it’s what you do to show love toward your significant other or whatever. Some things need to remain a secret. Why would I tell you something like that? I will tell you one thing though. I like to buy him gifts. If I see something I know Jesse will love, I don’t hesitate to get it. Plain and simple.

I also need affection so I guess cuddling would be another example.

That being said. Short post today. I leave you with what popped into my head when I heard “love language.”

Damnable Curls

Day twenty-seven on the list. I’m suppose to tell you what I like most about my body. It’s a short list. The top though, goes to the hair. I am a ginger and I am proud of that fact. We are a dying breed…or so I’ve been told. Since eighteen I’ve dyed the bottom part black. I wouldn’t dare dye my whole head. My hair wouldn’t grow back it’s original color. That terrifies me. So there you have it. I love my ridiculously curly red hair.



Don’t Assume Anything




a general understanding; vague or imperfect conception or idea of something: a notion of how something should be done.

an opinion, view, or belief: That’s his notion, not mine.

conception or idea: his notion of democracy.

a fanciful or foolish idea; whim: She had a notion to swim in the winter.

an ingenious article, device, or contrivance; knickknack.
After reading the question of the day, I realized that there are tons and tons of “notions” that people of on a variety of subjects. Thinking a little more about it I thought of how funny the word actually sounds. The fourth definition of the word seems to be my favorite due to the comical example. I wanted to choose something that affects me personally. Being a young person, I do a lot of young person things. There are also a lot of things I don’t do that most young people do. For example, I hate going to clubs. Most people my age enjoy going to clubs, though the only ones around here worth mentioning are gay clubs; nonetheless, it’s still a club and they go to it. I like staying indoors and reading a book or making jewelry, but the biggest pastime favorite I have is playing video games.
Ah, I said the foul words most parents hate to hear. VIDEO GAMES!!! Yes, I play them….. very often. Now with the notion part: People think video games are damaging to the younger generation. NO. Just no. Yeah, there are kids out there who will not budge from their television for hours in order to complete a massacre of fellow online players. Or even computers for that matter. Those PC gamers are just as bad for not wanting to go anywhere other than the next map. I’m not a PC gamer. I’m willing to try though. I don’t like WOW or any other popular MMORPG that involves me socializing with people through the tubes of the internet.
I really don't want to talk to that.

I really don’t want to talk to that.

Yeah, I know you can interact with people through console games too. I used to be a PlayStation girl growing up, but since I met Jesse he introduced me to the GameCube and the great XBOX360! I still have my PS, PS2, both PSPs (God of War editions) and play on them. You can’t take PlayStation away from this girl. I used to watch him and our friends play those hardcore war games like COD and HALO with others across the country. I really didn’t mind the thought of playing with these people, until I heard a child one day. That is what turned me away from online gaming. Those disgusting snot nosed children who have nothing better to do than cry and whine about how you or your friends aren’t playing fair and you’re a “fag” and such things like that. I hate it. Absolutely hate it. In a strange epiphany one day I realized that the video games aren’t the problem with kids. It’s something completely different: PARENTS.

Yes, I said it. It’s the parents. That’s the notion that world has wrong about video games. It’s not what the kids are getting from it. It’s what the parents aren’t keeping their kids from. Okay, let me explain from my point of view.

I work at WalMart. I help out in electronics all the time. Some people don’t like the idea that a girl knows more than they do about computers, HD tvs, iPhones, iPads, iPods, games, movies and cell phones than they do (I’ll probably do another post on this later). Anyway, one of the jobs is to get games out of the case for customers wishing to purchase them. What gets me is that these moms will come in with their kids (sons mostly) and buy all these adult themed games. For example, not even last week this woman came in with her son and bought a Modern Warfare game. This kid couldn’t have been more than 10. Whenever this happens, I usually take it upon myself to let the parent or guardian know the games rating and they have to carry it out of the store. I usually get strange looks but they comply nonetheless. It’s like they don’t even care. 99% of the time it’s the mother who buys the game and they don’t spare a second glance at what the game is about. I get the rare parent who asks questions about what their child would be playing if they bought this game or that. I commend those parents.

There you go. That’s the problem. It’s the parents. They get the games to shut the kids up and that’s that. If they were good parents they would monitor what their kids played and kept them away from it. If you’re going to blame video games then blame yourselves for letting your kid play that shit. Games have ratings for a reason. You wouldn’t let your 10 or 11 year old watch porn, would you? Then why would you let them play crap like Grand Theft Auto?

Still don’t believe me? I’ll leave you with a little something that all mature gamers hate. It’s a video of a child that is playing an adult rated game online. Lay off the game violence and look at who is letting them play.

Dinner with a Corpse?

We all have our past heroes and idols that we learn about growing up. The great Benjamin Franklin, George Washington, Abe Lincoln. Standard important historical figures right? So why wouldn’t anyone want to have dinner with them? I’m assuming I have to post that they would be up and about and breathing. Soooo…..I chose Carl Sagan.

For those who do not know who Carl Sagan is, you’re a sad human being. Here’s the short wiki bio:

Carl Edward Sagan (play /ˈsɡən/; November 9, 1934 – December 20, 1996) was an American astronomer, astrophysicist, cosmologist, author, science popularizer and science communicator in astronomy and natural sciences. He spent most of his career as a professor of astronomy at Cornell University where he directed the Laboratory for Planetary Studies. He published more than 600 scientific papers[2] and articles and was author, co-author or editor of more than 20 books. He advocated scientifically skeptical inquiry and the scientific method, pioneered exobiology and promoted the Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence (SETI).

My mom used to put on PBS and I would go to sleep listening to his voice. This man knew so much about astronomy and astrophysics that I almost couldn’t keep up. He made me realize how much more there is out there. Made me think about religion and life and all sorts of other things. He inspired me to want to know more about our universe and take a look at what is out beyond our solar system. It’s just insane to me how epic we are in the universe. He’s the one who started it. The one who brought me to realize how important I am in the cosmos.


So what would we talk about? The everything, of course. What’s outside of our human sight. Farther than the most visible star. Just to sit with him for an hour. That would be the best thing ever. I’ll leave you with a couple of things that brought me to tears when I saw them. He’s my inspiration to my rationality.


Blood Thicker….

I’m suppose to describe what my family dynamic is now compared to when I was younger. Simple, I don’t talk to my family.
I grew up with a strict dad. I think I was raised a bit better than my siblings and, as a result, am better. I do miss my childhood. Much easier times. I guess the divorce tore it up. Oh well. I just picked up and left.

What do you do for fun?

You’re basically looking at it. 😀

1. Obviously

No seriously though. I do write……a shit ton. Sometimes if you’re lucky you can catch me at work writing in a little notebook. I can’t help myself. I have come to the conclusion many many times that I really don’t have anyone to talk to about particular things. So I write them.

2. Gaming

I. Am. A. Gamer. Girl. I’ve been through the whole “not the cutesy wutesy chick in panties and a bra.” I sit in my pajamas and play for hours on end. Newest obsession?

Oh Kaiden….you lovely douchebag. Still not as cool as Vakarian.

I still play the hell out of Skyrim. Why? New DLCs mainly.

3. Jewelry Making

I think I’m pretty good at it. It’s fun. I do sell some things to friends, but I mostly wear what I make. I have strange tastes.

Yep….made this.

4. Piano

Kind of pointless to repeat myself from previous posts, isn’t it?

5. Cross Stitching

I have taken up a new hobby! I’m learning to cross stitch. Sometimes I have a real bad tick that makes me try new things and I get too in depth and can’t stop. This is one of those cases. HELP ME!

Down that Dusty Road

Where do I see myself in 5….10….15 years down the road? Hopefully alive for one. Also, financially stable in this crappy economy. Hopefully living in a Scandinavian country like I’ve always wanted. Mostly though, by Jesse. I don’t want to see myself stuck in the same place. I never had a job for more than two years at a time. I get too burnt out. I see myself being an accomplished writer. Making enough money to not worry about what bills to pay. I see myself helping my family get on their own feet and happy. I see myself being a role model and mentor to my nieces. That’s probably the main thing I see myself doing most.

Again, I know it’s short. Deal with its.

Crusading Casey

I remember in third grade my teacher told the class to come up with a superhero. I was about eight or nine, but I remember distinctly the drawing I had done. It was me wearing gold and red with a circlet and arm guards. I was called Crusading Casey and I wrote a story about my character fighting an evil villain called Jackhammer Jacob, which I based from a boy in the next row. Now that I think about it, it’s totally ridiculous and funny as hell.

I digress.

The main point of this post is what superpower I would have and how I would use it. I think I’ll take it from my old superhero: Invisibility. I could get away with so many things. Not bad things, but helpful ones. Also, I love eavesdropping. I love making mischief…..if no one gets hurt. Imagine scaring people in a store or finding out a drug plot or something. That would be awesome.

Short post I know. But I’m tired.