I will be the first to admit that I have an extremely short temper. Most people blame my red hair, but honestly, I just can’t stand stupid people or things. I have a ton of pet peeves. I don’t really know what kind of person that makes me, but I’m sure it’s annoying to others. I’ve toned it down over the years. So here’s my top ten pet peeves.
Warning! There is a lot of cussing in this post.
1. Someone looking over your shoulder.
I. Cannot. Stand. This. It’s come to the point I will not write anything if anyone is in the same room as me. It never fails when I’m reading a webcomic or fanfic that someone comes in on the worst part. Jesse has a bad habit of looking over when I’m reading a Yaoi or something and it’s infuriating. Especially when I’m texting something private, someone will waltz by,” Hey, whatcha doin?” and stick their noses right to my damn phone. STOP IT! Jesus!
2. When you’re on the phone and the person you’re talking to engages in conversation with someone standing next to them.
If you see me on the phone, that means I’m engaged in conversation with someone else. DO NOT TALK TO ME. I could possibly be avoiding you. For one, it’s extremely rude. Now if I see someone I haven’t seen in a while, I’ll holler a hello and move on. Secondly, I’m pretty sure the person on the phone doesn’t want to hear someone else try to grab my attention and gargle balls about what the weather is like.
3. Fellow Commuters
I hate other people when they drive on the same road as I do. Mainly people who DON’T GO ON A GREEN LIGHT! I’ve had one bad experience where a woman in a fucking eco compact car wouldn’t GO because she was on her phone! Get off your phone when you drive and you might live to see another day…….not from wrecking but from me kicking your teeth down your throat.
4. People who believe they know everything
I’m not talking just about the internet, though my two major encounters were on the webz. Let me tell you the first one. I have a friend who put up a status on the great Book of Faces mentioning the whole “oh there’s a new zodiac they’re are incorporating” deal. I forgot what she said, but it was good. I just commented that I would rather go with what the Greeks had, they did it better. I was just gonna leave it at that. Then here comes Mr. I-Love-The-Smell-Of-My-Own-Farts-Smuggy-Pants saying,”Well actually, (anytime someone starts a comment with this, I know I’m going to hate them) the zodiac was started with the Babylonians blah blah BLAH FUCKTY BLAH!!!” Did I say anything about who started it? Fukken NO!! I don’t care. You’re just showing your ass thinking that people with believe you’re a goddman Einstein. Shut it. Why? Why do people do this? No one cares about it.
5. Interrupting Cow
I think this should be self explanatory. Just know that if I get interrupted, I will meditate on killing your face slowly with a fork.
(Kanye West, this was terribly rude! Yes, I know you apologized, but this is the holy grail of rude interruptions.)
If I do you a favor, it could have possibly been a one time thing. Don’t make it a habit. Some people have done that with me and I want to throw my phone into a canyon every time I get that one text: Hey, I was wondering if…….. Well, wonder no longer! I won’t do it!
No, I won’t. You’re not funny, you’re not cute, and you’re definitely not that important. Fuck off.
8. My Mini Hipster
I’ve been into many things that no one has heard of. Suddenly, it’s the most popular thing with everyone! I just wanna shout, “I was into that before it was popular!” It’s sometimes books and movies, but it’s always anime. Damn you, posers. And I can’t stand it when I get all hipster on people and they give me hell for it.
9. When someone with a full cart of groceries gets into the 10 items or less line.
YOU KNOW WHO THE FUCK YOU ARE, EXTREME COUPONER LADY!! I hated being cashier on one of these lines. It’s also murder when they stop right in front of the line and count their items…..while people are waiting behind them. Don’t count, move on! If I have to go home in five minutes, I’m sure as hell not gonna check you out when you have a buggy FULL of shit. DENIED!
10. Ignorant People
This above all is my biggest pet peeve. Don’t try to sound big and outsmart me when you know NOTHING of what you’re talking about. Mainly religion. Just shut up while you’re ahead. Also, if you see me working in hardware, that means I KNOW how to mix paint and fix a damn door jamb you fucked up while beating your wife because she didn’t cook dinner fast enough. Don’t assume shit unless you got the facts to back it up, biatch!! If I’m wrong, I’ll admit it. Why can’t you?