My Spinach

So you have my five weaknesses, dirty villains. Now here are my strengths that will allow me to defeat you!

1. My Red Hair Gives Me +5 Charm

I can pretty much make friends with just about anybody. In school I had friends from every group; the cheerleaders, preps, goths, jocks, band geeks, artsy fartsy peeps, and choir members. If you want to be able to do this, here’s some advice: Just be nice. Seriously. Maybe I was lucky and got on the good side of everyone. Now that I’m an adult, I have friends from every walk of life. They are from different countries, religions, colors, and professions. I take a little pride in that.

2. My Witty Sarcasm

Sky used to tell me I have the most sarcastic responses to everything. I don’t know if it’s cynicism or I really am just an asshole. One thing I do know is that I know how to use it when needed. If you’re an asshole, expect my words of sarcastic justice!

3. My Intelligence

One thing I’m afraid of is looking stupid in front of other people. It’s embarrassing and I hate it. I never wanted to look like a girl who doesn’t know a damn thing. I read, I learn, I pay attention, and I pick up on things quickly. I suppose it’s to keep up with the world around me. I don’t want to have a conversation where I have no idea what the subject matter is.

4. My Bullshit Shield

Just take my word for it. I know when you’re trying to bullshit people.

5. My Intimidating Size

I will be up front. I’m not a small chick. I saw a picture once that said “I’m an hourglass figure with a few extra minutes”. That’s pretty much me. I don’t have low self esteem about my size. I’m 5’10 with huge boobs that only make my size the more intimidating. People really don’t want to start fights with me because they think I’ll kick their ass. Well, I will, but the fact is that I’m able to protect and defend myself with my stature.

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